Elections – In The Land Of The Free

Posted in Current Affairs, Feminist Issues, History, Islamic Demonization, Media, Satire by Anuraag Sanghi on March 6, 2008

This is the first blog that I have written on the US Presidential election (some presidents … some election … with apologies to Winston Churchill). I hope it is the last.

‘Mizaru’ Obama

A viral email, doing the rounds, accusses Sen. Barrack Obama of a grave crime. It claims that Obama is a Muslim. The Associated Press report, says, “Presidential candidate battles misconception that he’s a Muslim”

Poor Obama! He had to take time off from his campaign to fight innuendo and smear. Fight to remove the slur from his name. Desperately, he re-butted, “I’ve been to the same church, the same Christian church, for almost 20 years” He emphasised, “in the United States Senate, I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.” In case anyone gets such an email, “send it back to whoever sent it and tell them this is all crazy. Educate” the Senator earnestly advised.

Is it a crime in the land-of-the-free not to be a Christian? Does the US Constitution forbid non-Christians from holding the highest office in the land-of-the-free?

I am pretty uneducated about the land-of-the-free, Senator. In a backward country like India, voters don’t bother about religion. Our recent President was a Muslim. I rather liked him. But I must be wrong. After all, I am from a backward country. And then the Indian voter is uneducated. Can you please educate me, Senator Obama. I have heard so much about your land-of-the-free.

‘Iwazaru’ McCain

John McCain has written an inspiring bookCharacter Is Destiny: Inspiring Stories Every Young Person Should Know and Every Adult Should Remember, (co authored by Mike Salter, October 25, 2005). A review (From Publishers Weekly)says that McCain is “telling 34 stories of heroes … and … the pantheon is inclusive enough to hold Aung San Suu Kyi and Gandhi alongside Churchill and Eisenhower.”

A few weeks later, after releasing this book, at the “Charlie Rose Show” Senator McCain informed the world that a Muslim had killed Gandhiji. I come from a backward country, Senator McCain. The backward school (in my backward country) I went to , told me that a Hindu killed Gandhi. Thank you for telling me the truth, Senator. I do hope you understand my disadvantage, Senator.

Only Americans tell the truth (especially if they want to become Presidents). It is not like that in my country, India. In my backward country, India, we have been told lies that Gandhi was killed by Hindus. Just imagine the lies. I am now sure that Rajiv Gandhi was also killed by Muslims and Indira Gandhi must have also been killed by a Muslim. Thank you, Senator. I can see the truth. For as they say, the truth will set you free.

‘Kikazaru’ Clinton

Now we come to the friend of India – Hillary Clinton.

She is one helluva brave lady. Imagine a woman trying to become a President in the United States of America. The US has real men. They do not want to burden women with the Presidency.

Hillary Clinton, the Brave, has further threatened, all the caveman that they should not attack America. She has cautioned America, “We have real enemies who are sitting in some cave somewhere trying to figure out how to hurt us again.” I now understand why millions of Native Americans (then aka ‘Red Indians’) were killed. The Native American Cavemen must have also done something. Otherwise, the peace loving, land-of-the-free, American nation, will not attack anybody.

American men are not backward like South Asia ‘men.’ In fact South Asia does not have enough men. Otherwise, why does South Asia have so many women leaders. Tell me.

Three Monkeys, Toshogu Temple, Nikko, Japan

The Toshogu Temple

About 80 years ago, the Japanese sent a gift to Gandhiji. The Three monkeys from Toshogu Temple, Nikko, Japan. These three monkeys (imagine that, monkeys) tell us that we should not see, hear or talk evil. Gandhiji (that half naked … apologies to Churchill again) loved these monkeys and carried them around.

I am sure that three American Senators, still in the Presidential race, have taken inspiration from these three monkeys – Mizaru, Iwazaru and Kikazaru.

See no evil, say no evil, hear no evil

‘Mizaru’ Obama cannot see the evil of Islamic demonisation. It is not happening. ‘Iwazaru’ McCain does not want to talk about the evil of Islamic demonisation. It is not happening. ‘Kikazaru’ Clinton cannot hear the evil of Islamic demonisation. It is not happening.

God bless America, the-land-of-the-free.

Three Monkeys, Toshogu Temple, Nikko, JapanI have changed my plans. I was one day thinking of retiring to the caves – in the Indian tradition. But, with Hillary’s threat hanging over my head, I am afraid. Senators, looking at your source of inspiration, I also now understand, why the favorite Hindu god is a monkey.

I wonder

I dont want to raise embarrassing questions to my US Brothers about women Presidents and Muslim or Catholic Candidates. But I am puzzled ….

In the last 60 years, in 15 US elections, only one bald US president has been elected – and only 5 bald presidents in the nearly 250 years of Republican US. Seemingly, the US Voter and political system selects people with a headful of hair!

Does the US of A have another kind of a caste system – which discriminates against the Bald and Beautiful? I am a backward Indian, you see. So, I dont know, Senators.

You, from the Great Land of The Free, will have to enlighten me!

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5 Responses

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  1. […] Tigre sin Tiempo put an intriguing blog post on Elections – In The Land Of The Free […]

  2. Parag Tope said, on March 6, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    From what I hear from my friends from India and other places – the news of US elections are dominating the news in India and other places. That’s pretty sad – especially that the election dynamics in India, IMO, is far more exciting.

    I will be voting for Ron Paul if he runs, or any libertarian party candidate they nominate.

    Ron Paul has more money than McCain in the republican primary. The media blackout has not prevented hundreds of thousands of supporter like me who have poured millions into his candidacy, including over five million dollars in one day, november 5, 2007. It is not his immediate victory that is important – but simplicity of his message. Ron Paul’s message, in an abstract way correlates with pre-Colonial Indic polity. Although – I disagree with both him and you about the role of Gandhi in India’s liberation.

    In the footsteps of the US, the English speaking Indian media is shamefully propagating an agenda rather than presenting news.

  3. ara0062 said, on March 12, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    I LOVED this post by you! It is sooo great and well written. You are so right! LOL. The Europeans invaded and pushed their ideals on my Native American ancestors, and thus, they were nearly wiped out and eradicated. Once again, a great invention of how the great, protestant/Catholics showed how well their faith and religion teach their form of tolerance.

    Growing up, my neighbors were Muslim. There is nothing wrong at all with Muslims. Like Christians, there are extreme radicals out there, giving everyone that practices those religions a bad name. My red ancestors mostly didn’t live in caves though 😉
    Here’s another irony, although my father has red skin, my mother brown, both from their Native American heritage…I ended up with.. white. Thanks to my 1/2-British grandmother, but I never wanted it. Growing up..I just wanted to be like my parents.. darker skinned and beautiful, nearly black hair. I guess it just goes to show you that if you have it..maybe you’ll always want something else you can’t have.

  4. Anuraag Sanghi said, on March 12, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    Thanks for your lovely responses ARA0062.

    I disgaree … that there is nothing wrong with Muslims.

    There is enough (and more) of things that are wrong with all of us … including Muslims. But by God, give them space, give them time, stop DEMONISING 1 billion people in this manner.

  5. ara0062 said, on March 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Well, I haven’t know that many Muslims in my lifetime.. just some good folks that were my neighbors.

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